The Desert

The Witch

I've never seen a witch properly use a broomstick.

What the artist is saying...

What the artist is saying with this piece is that we as human beings forcefully grab images with our eyes. The tentacles protruding from the eyeball are quite imposing and signify the aggressive act of staring. Also the man is bald. Bald men are known to be evil. He also has big ears and a prominent jaw. Big ears + big jaw = evil. Bald head + big ears + big jaw = super evil. Tentacle eyes + bald head + big ears + big jaw = destroy kill die evil. Now that I've truly examined this piece I can see the evil in it. My eyes! God damn you artist! The images are being processed and the evil is taking over my brain! Destroy! Kill! Die!

The Monster

We have captured a monster. Not sure what we're going to do with it yet. Probably destroy it. We're using new reinforced ropes to keep IT secure to the ground and reduce breakout potential. Many people have been poking the creature with sticks. It's a great family activity. We also might sell the monster. We've been talking to some leaders from the circus industry and they seem very interested. Whatever the case, the monster is captured. The people are now safe.

Picture Ripper

The person who ripped up this picture is in big trouble. NO ONE rips up a picture of a cowboy!! The cowboy must be respected on his horse, off his horse, and definitely in picture form. I must go now and create a poster. 

WANTED DEAD

Cowboy Picture Ripper

REWARD

$20,000

Sam the Bug

This is Sam the Bug. Entertainer, comedian, musician, producer, director, actor, and entrepreneur. He does it all. There's nothing he can't do. He's gifted at everything he does. He will tell you this and make sure you hear. "Things just come easy to me," he says. What a lucky little bug. It must be great being Sam. The only problem is that he's small and fragile, and if you step on him, his body will squish and ooze out green liquid. This is Sam the Bug. He's arrogant, annoying, and has six legs. If you see him, please squash him for me.

Boz

Greetings! 

I am Boz. My friends call me Bozzy. I am here to control your mind and tell you what to think. Listen to everything I say. I am very popular in my galaxy. People respect me, and if you respect me, you will feel much better about yourself. Don't think. Just listen. Refuse me and pay the consequences. I will destroy those who cross me. I will kill those who cross me. Listen to what I say. Open up your mind. Let me in.

First Flight

I knew this bird who refused to fly.

"Just because I have wings doesn't mean I have to fly?" that's what he used to say.

His parents were angry with him. "You're making us look bad!"

They sent him to The School for Troubled Birds. The instructors shot him out of a cannon. Not sure what happened to him after that. Some say he refused to flap. Others say he flapped far far away.

Universe

- The Universe 2077

Dental School Yearbook

Ryan Green

Age: 33

Hobbies: Flag football, swimming, and cooking

Awards: Root Canal Champion

The Volcano and The Village

The people in village talked about the volcano everyday. 

"I hope the volcano doesn't erupt today."

"I don't know what I'd do if the volcano erupted."

"The volcano won't erupt for a very long time."

The volcano eventually erupted. Everyone died.

The Smile

Everyone loves a smile!

Shark Pic

I used to draw shark pics a lot. This is a Classic Great White.

No Smoking

The smoking part wasn't crossed out.

Trees

I got lost in the trees. Everything looked the same. I couldn't find my way out. I was scared. Darkness. I screamed. I couldn't get out. I didn't know how to get out. There was no way out. No way out. I said that over and over. And over and over. I didn't want to accept it. No. This isn't happening. We all get lost in the trees. That thought made me feel better.

Different

We're all a little different

Road Trip

This is definitely something to tell the kids about.

Open Mic

No one laughed...

Wedding

Da Da DaDa Da Da DaDa Da Da DaDa Da DaDa Da DaDaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!

...and the men came by the thousands to marry their love and live happily ever after.

Eye Exam

Please remove your glasses and read the smallest line possible.

Alien Invasion

I snapped this photograph during the Alien Invasion. I guess superheroes are afraid of aliens. Who will save us now?

The Rich Bald Man and The Devil

Somebody was waiting for this little bald man to get rich.

The Flag

The flag is watching us...

Underwater Friends

I fell off a boat the other day and sunk to the bottom of the sea. I found these underwater friends there and they put on an underwater play for me! We hung out after the show and went on an underwater adventure. I met their friends and family. I visited their homes. I did it all. Before I left for land, we exchanged contact information. I call them daily on their underwater phone. These are my underwater friends. They are way cooler than my real friends.

Teeth Grinding

My dentist told me that if I keep grinding my teeth, I'll eventually look like drawing B.

Kid Catching

This is a classic way to catch kids. First, plant a big arrow in the middle of a forest. This arrow should point to some kid of path, because kids will always follow paths. Don't ever forget that. In this picture the path is made of stone. Not the smartest way to go. If you want to guarantee that the kids will follow the path, spend some extra dough and lay down some toys or candy. I never heard of a kid passing up a toy or candy trail. After that, it's all about house decoration. The house pictured above is multi-colored. Kids love that stuff. A house of colors = ha ha fun times in all kids minds.

How else can we decorate our homes to make kids want to enter them? Let's take five minutes to really think about it.

Coffee Lover

This guy really loves his coffee.

The Dolphin Man

He jumps through hoops, eats fish, flips in the air, makes squeaky noises, hits beach balls into the crowd with his nose, and does everything else a dolphin can do, but better!!!

I never seen the guy perform, but I hear he's amazing.

Crystal Ball

Crystal Ball For Sale

Selling my used Crystal Ball. Comes with fancy skirt. Works great and in perfect condition.

$250 firm. Serious inquiries only please.

Contact Lady Vezper
vezdoll43@gypsymail.com

16

I can drive a car. I can see Rated R movies. I can drink alcohol. I can smoke. I can have sex. I'm 16. I can jump out of a plane. I can argue. I can do anything. I'm 16. I can get in fights. I can wear what I want. I can say whatever I feel. I can do drugs. I can live forever. I can steal. I can, I can, I can. I'm fucking 16 years old!!! I can rule the world. I can stay out all night. I can do anything, but I just don't feel like it. I'm going to mall.